Monday, November 8, 2010

Sissies On Parade

Lady Hanna doing the commentary

Waiting for the sissies

A sexy looking Silk

Lethal as little bo beep

Jimmy as little red riding hood

I can't begin to tell you how awesome our Sissies On Parade event was yesterday. The set was amazing, Loth did a fab job with lights, Lady Mandalay rocked the house with some fantastic music, and Lady Hanna kept us all in stitches with her commentary. And the boys, the boys were truly awesome and all great sports!

A huge thank you to Miss Miles who conceived and orchestrated this whole event. Its been in the works for quite some time and the effort put in to it was astounding. It isn't easy to coordinate all of those sissies, teach them to walk and get them in their outfits! But Busty made it look so easy. Thank you so much for doing this for us Busty!

Ooh, but I only wish I had it on video! What a show!

Addition: By popular request, Lady Hanna's witty narrative of the show. Enjoy!

Ladies and gentlemen and gentlemen who dress like ladies... Welcome to segment #1, The Working Girl. Although I'll be the first to admit, I just don't know how well these outfits are working. Let's take a look...

1) Nurse Lemondrop will see you now. I'm sure the Red Cross has never been quite so proud. This little number makes Andy seem like quite the humanitarian. Is there anything of medicinal value under that skirt? No, we didn't think so. ;)

2) They told me in the Army, the girls are mighty fine! You ask for Betty Grable, they give you Frankenstein! I don't want no more of army life! Gee ma, I want to go home! -- But seriously folks, I'm sure Silk is giving us quite the salute! Speaking of saluting...

3) He's a grand ol' fag, he's a high-flying fag! and forever in peace may he strut... He's the emblem of... Dominion love, the home of the sissy-boy slut.... Every heart beats true for the real black and blue... and there's always a gasp and a gawk... For auld aquaintence be forgot, keep your eye on that tiny cock!

4) But seriously folks. There's no business like show business. And Jerbo Toxx is willing to show ALL his business. This, ladies and gentlemen, is why their motto asks, nay, IMPLORES... that what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. Or, in Jerbo's case, stays wrapped up sweetly in feathers and lace. Who wants to buy this sweet sissy a drink between shows?

5) And while you're being entertained by Jerbo in your penthouse hotel room with a sparkling view of the Vegas lights, you might be interrupted by this little number. Does Marcus the Maid knock before he comes in? "Room service!" One look at this boy makes you wonder what little messes he'll be expected to clean up later.

6) Zaidel's milkshake brings ALL the girls to the yard. He can't help it, it's that spankable ass peeking from beneath the pink plaid. The head mistress at his school bought a new paddle just in case he misbehaved. No, seriously, I talked to her. She's sitting right there in the third row...

7) Oh hey! Don't be shy, Dorsel, it's not like you're wearing tight red latex and two foot tall bunny ears. Oh wait, my bad.

8) Did you guys see the 1991 Robin Hood movie? "You. My room. 10:30 tonight. You. 10:45. Bring a friend." Love that line. Anyway. We're not exactly clear what Jimmy of Locksley takes from the rich and gives to the poor. But we're just going to go with it. I imagine Maid Marian wearing the trousers and playing with Jimmy's "Little John".

9) [SKIPPED] If Jimmy is the outlaw, FatelX may be the modern Sherrif of Naughty-ham. In skin-tight latex, he's bound to let no crime "squeak" by. (Get it, squeak?) Where do you keep the handcuffs, Fatel? No, never mind. We don't need to know the details. That latex shows off your "night stick" with criminal intent as it is. Ha ha ha.

10) Give me an S! Give me an I! Give me an S-S-Y! What does that spell? Gregie Beaumont, evidently. I've never seen so little on so much of him. In a skirt that short, "shaking your pompoms" means something else entirely. Go team!

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Thank you, thank you, hold your applause... Next we have our second group of dudes look like a lady... The minxes of kink and fetish... The ladies of luscious latex... the fellows of the stilettos... Let's have a close look at how much they're willing to show...

11) Here's AshPan in sheer red lace and a black feather boa. Classic, but never classy. Those size thirteen heels would make any sissy feel positively dainty. Don't twist your ankle, Ash! I can't tell if he belongs in the bedroom or on a street corner. Maybe on the street corner first... then in a cheap room with a red neon 'HOTEL' sign flickering right outside the window. I think I saw that in a movie once.

12) We always knew it would come to this, Jerbo. You make it look so easy. And here we thought being a fetish porn starlet took some talent. We were so wrong!

13) It's all starting to blur together now, isn't it? Glenn is apparently Jerbo's co-star in the porn industry. Glenn's porn star name is Paddleme Johnson, but he likes to be called Jessica. Don't miss their opening night. Probably in the triple XXX theatre located beneath that cheap hotel where AshPan is being kept like a whore. It's a small world!

14) Is this Serviuss? Doesn't he normally dress like this? I supposed he's all dressed up for the Fetish Ball. Speaking of balls...every part of him is peeking. If we were to bind his hands above his head I think that latex micro-skirt would rise high enough that we could see him rise high enough, if you know what I mean.

15) What a pretty, pretty princess Wheels turned out to be! We had hired a couple of unicorns to follow right behind him but they voided their contract and refused to participate, we're still trying to figure out why. We promised them delicate white lace and an aura of innocence-- it's just not enough these days. We also hired some songbirds and some of those little pairs of rabbits to hop along with Wheels, but Ozymals politely declined to donate two radiant sunlight holland lop whites. I know, right? Sadface!

16) Andy's back! It's never too early for Christmas and his halls are COMPLETELY decked in jolly red latex. "Ho ho ho" means something else right now, doesn't it? And exactly what will shake when he laughs like a red bowl of jelly? Don't laugh too hard, Rudolph the red-assed sissy boy, you'll fall right off your platform shoes and we don't need to see your Christmas ornaments, if you know what I mean.

17) And here comes Silk all in black fetish gear. I think this might be trying to pass for "gothic" but the way he's walking maybe he's trying to pass something way less comfortable. Could be those shoes. I'd ask you to relax and take a deep breath, Silk, but something tells me in latex that tight it really isn't an option.

18) After a jazzy late night on the town, I'm sure Lethal was ready to get out of those shoes and let down his hair. But maybe we all agree that there's something appealing about keeping them all dressed up while we strip them down. All this boy needs is some smudged eyeshadow and maybe some smeared lipstick to complete the look.

19) [SKIPPED] Lions, tigers, bears, and... well, apparently Russell Applemoor. That's some serious leopard print. We like our boys to take a little walk on the wild side. What remarkable gloves you've discovered. And hey, the 1970's are calling and they want their boots back.

20) Marcus has lived most of his life in a cave. But we got him out here on the stage for the Sissy Fashion Show. You can still see the bump on his head where the last woman clubbed him and dragged him away. You can also see a bump under that cute little skirt, or is it too small to notice? In any event, we clearly can't call him Fred in that little number, but maybe we can call him Wilma.

21) Look at this pretty picture in virginal white. A cage 'round the hips is holding him tight. He's all dressed in ribbons and soft lacey things. Mmm... Now I know why the caged bird sings. A small bird, and soft, and covered in lace. I think this young man is red in the face. There's a joke here about early birds and a worm, but I'd better not make it 'lest that bird becomes firm.


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Our next category of outfits is all about commonly shared cultural narratives. That's a fancy way of saying that we've got sissy boys in nursey rhyme and fairy tale outfits. Once upon a time, in a far away land, there was a Sissy Fashion Show...

22) Dorsel the Sissy was so very prissy, in the courtyard every day. Along came a woman and said HOW YOU DOIN' and frightened poor Dorsel away.

23) Hey there little red ridin' hood, you sure are lookin' good, you're everything that a big bad wolf could want. Little red ridin' hood, I don't think even sissies should, go walkin' in these spooky old woods alone. We're gonna keep our sheeps suits on, until we're sure that you've been shown, that we can be trusted walkin' with you alone.

24) [SKIPPED] And hi there, Fatal! I don't even know what I'm looking at. But wow, I see you have quite a big lollipop. Oh! And you're holding one in your hand as well. Don't get the two confused on your way back down the catwalk. The sticky one stays in your panties.

25) Clap your hands if you believe in Gregie Beaumont. I do believe in fairies! I do! I do!

26) When I got to this outfit, I had writer's block. When I described this outfit to Ember last night her response was, "Are you trying to give me frickin' nightmares or what?" I think writer's block can sometimes be a good thing.

27) Jerbo is late, is late, for a very important date. Can't even say good-bye, hello, he's late, he's late, he's late and... when he waves, he loses the time he saves, his fuzzy ears and whiskers took him too much time to shave! He runs and then he hop-hop-hops, he wishes that he could fly! There's danger when he dares to stop, and here's the reason why, you see: he's overdue, he's in a rabbit stew! Can't even say hello, good-bye, he's late, he's late, he's late. Ok, get off the stage. Thanks.

28) Serviuss played with Barbies when he was young. And he plays Barbie now that he's older. Have you heard the one about the guy who wanted to buy a barbie? "we have Barbie Goes to the Gym for $19.95, Barbie Goes to the Ball for $19.95, Barbie Goes Shopping for $19.95, Barbie Goes to the Beach for $19.95, Barbie Goes Nightclubbing for $19.95, and Divorced Barbie for $265.00." "Why is Divorced Barbie $265.00 when all the others are only $19.95?" "Well, it's like this ... Divorced Barbie comes with Ken's house, Ken's furniture, Ken's car, Ken's boat..."

29) It's a tale as old as time. True as it can be. Barely even friends, then somebody bends... unexpectedly. Just a little change. Small to say the least. Beauty and the beast. Mostly beast.

30) If a grown man in a blue fairy costume walked up to you in a crowded room, what would you say? "Hello, Dad." But seriously folks, look at this sissy. I think Andy needs help becoming a real boy. Or do we like to consider the length of his wood beneath that cute little skirt? Don't give up being a puppet too soon, Andy, we have uses for sissies like you.

31) Oh yeah. Silk is dressed as the dormouse because he's always falling asleep during a scene. Eventually Eva and Joie put his head in a teapot. Next!

32) Lethal the sissy is a little bit pissy because he's been put in high heels. Show him no pity, have him walk through the city, and he'll soon learn how it feels. Lethal Bo-Peep may then start to weep, a man in a dress feeling dreary. But leave him alone, and he will come home, feeling quite pretty and cheery.

33) It just keeps getting more and more elaborate. Look at this mess of pink. Glenny Glenny dressed quite tranny, how does your garden grow? With a flowery dress you nevertheless have that pretty girlish glow. I think this outfit is visual poetry. You just want to see him at a darling little Victorian lawn party! Preferably kneeling on the lawn. Croquet, anyone? Shall we hit a few balls?


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Our next category of outfits is just to prove to you all that we don't entirely objectify the boys. Ok, ok, we do entirely objectify the boys. The next category of outfits is to establish that even objectified boys can have a little class. Ok, ok, they can't have any class. So, to review: we do objectify the boys, and they can't have any class. So... Really this category of outfits is to see what happens when we put responsible adult men into respectable feminine clothing. And then laugh at them a little bit.

34) Marcus might need help to understand that "cocktail party" doesn't mean we have to see his through a sheer layer of leopard print fabric. Still, I can imagine him applying lipstick in the lady's room and being discovered unexpectedly. Preferably discovered by someone who knows exactly how to tug the hem of that dress over his bottom to give him a sharp smack. "We don't wear such a saturated strawberry tone with leopard print, Marcus, you need something more subtle next time, think a rust or a maroon. Now go back out there and don't get silly on daquiris like you did last time!"

35) This outfit makes me think of a funeral in the rain. Then I remember it's Zaidel wearing a dress.

36) Dorsel is the type of woman who will step off her private yacht to join you at the nearby rooftop restaurant for drinks and dancing. While the night is still young, she'll whisper into your ear that she's really a man, and you'll feel a thrill down your spine realizing that all this delightful elegance can be yours for the night. All this sissy really wants is to be taken back to his private quarters where his expensive brocade dress can be peeled off his body, revealing lingerie twice as expensive as your own. He just wants to feel pretty. And slutty. After all, it is Dorsel under there.

37) There's obviously a "pearl necklace" joke going on here. Jimmy's so uncomfortable in this perfect little black dress that it will be easy to talk him out of it. Look at him. Wouldn't you rather have him naked? Am I projecting again. In the meantime, Jimmy, learn to walk in heels. And who's your fashion icon, Jackie O?

38) Once upon a time there was a very good little boy who got all ready for bed in his pink satin negligee and silky black stockings, and he kneeled before his Mistress, and after a while, he tugged on her hand and asked her very politely for a bedtime story. And she said, "Don't talk to me with your mouth full, sissy boy," and slid the strap-on right back in.

39) Sometimes it takes a plunging neckline to make a man feel like a woman. Sometimes it takes a single rose. Sometimes it takes the delicate arch of a gold satin stiletto. Sometimes it takes a simple golden chain warm against his throat. In Gregie's case, it took all of those things plus some elbow-length gloves and a wig.

40) Here is AshPan in a pale pink confection any girl would love to wear to a twilight birthday party. Imagine candy colored balloons gleaming beneath the moonlight as friends toasted with champagne and enjoyed chocolate petit fours on pink paper plates. Imagine the live jazz ensemble tucked away by the fountain, setting the mood to the sound of crickets and a sweet evening breeze. And the sweet sissy girl blushing at the center of all this attention. I'm sure every gift is something new and naughty for the boy to wear.

41) Jerbo is our classic Lady in Red. We've never seen you looking so lovely as you do tonight, we've never seen you shine so bright. Believe me when I ensure you... we'll never forget the way you look tonight. Lady in red.

42) Here comes the bride, all dressed in white. But really Glenn's a boy, not the real McCoy. But still he's in that dress, a maiden in distress. I'm sure he feels some fright, about his wedding night. But the show is almost done, I hope he had some fun.

43) Trivia. Why do brides wear white? In western culture, the bride's white dress has come to symbolize virginity. But the tradition of wearing white isn't even that old, really. It gained popularity in 1840 when Queen Victoria married wearing a white gown to incorporate some lace that she owned. It wasn't until the mid-20th century that white came to dominate the wedding dress market. People just copied the rich and famous. Before Victoria, brides married in almost any color, except black, the color of mourning, and red, which was associated with prostitutes. Brides who wanted to wear a symbol of their purity wore BLUE. I guess we just learned something about Serviuss.

44) Speaking of impurity, we'd like to close the show with a demonstration by Wheels that less is more. More sissy, and more slutty. Take a good long look at the last of our sissies before he teeters on those heels back stage again.


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Thank you so much for joining is in this celebration of silk, satin, sex, laughter, humiliation, and feminization.

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