Generally, this blog is about events and personalities at The Dominion Femdom. Every once in a while I feel compelled to address a particular topic, and today I would like to touch on the topic of banning.
I hear many comments about The Dominion. We are both loved and hated. There doesn't seem to be much in between the two extremes. This, I think, is because we are viewed as being rather extreme ourselves. Hands down, we are the most strict Femdom in Second Life. No, males can't sit on furniture here. Yes, they do have to use titles and kneel. And at all times we expect respect for our Ladies and our rules. If we don't get it, we don't hesitate to remove someone. To be blunt, we don't fuck around. This of course does not appeal to everyone's tastes, but luckily there are a number of other Femdoms, with a wide variety of styles for those who don't appreciate us. At many places men own and run the operations, sit along side the Ladies, and speak as they like. Other places focus on romance, or a softer, more maternal approach. I can appreciate the appeal of the other styles, and I do not question their value or their validity. However, that is not Dominion, nor will it ever will be.
We work very hard to run Dominion in a professional manner. Facilities and information are kept up to date and carefully organized. In seven months we have never cancelled or rescheduled an event. Real women run our programs and day to day operations. And frankly, I think we do a great job. I hope you agree.
Many look at this professional approach and speculate that our decisions are business based. Dominion, although I strive to run it professionally, is not a 'for profit' venture, but a social and philosophical one. Our decisions are made to provide a strict and real Femdom environment that both our Ladies and boys can enjoy. To that end, you will never see an advertisement here, particularly not for prostitutes as I have sadly seen at a few places nor will you see stores and kiosks squeezed in to every corner of the sim. Believe me, I could cover the walls with ads and fill the sim with all sorts of low quality product if profit was our motivation.
So what does this have to do with banning? Well, who and why we ban directly relates to our desire to maintain a strict and high calibre environment. We remove individuals who do not respect our rules, who are abusive, or who are disruptive. I would rather ban an individual and lose him from our group than have our environment compromised.
I would also like everyone who reads this, particularly the boys, to understand the abuse that we have to deal with at times. Very often males come to the sim with the sole intent of abusing our Ladies. We all know that there are many men out there who don't like women, and being able to speak abusively to women while hiding behind an avatar is irresistible to some. As one griefer said after littering our sims with paritcles and objects, "I came to exercise my anger'. On countless occassions I have had males IM me, often with out any sort of contact or provocation, to call me vile names or to threaten me in some manner. For all of you who truly love and respect women, I am sure you would be appalled at what we have to put up with at times. Strong women always have been a target and a threat for those who are weak in mind and character. Luckily for us, there are many more secure and wonderful men who love women, and who come to us with respect and a true desire to serve.
Of course, we also have Mistresses who have acted improperly and have had to be removed. The Dominion enforces SSC (Safe, Sane, and Consensual) play. Just because a Lady wears a Mistress tag does not mean she has the right to be abusive or to force an individual in to play he does not want. If a Lady is abusive, report it. I promise you we will deal with it.
Many times I have received complaints that a ban is unfair or unwarranted. Do we make mistakes at times? Absolutely. We have hundreds of people TP in to Dominion each day; thousands every week. Some people come to grief, or to be abusive, or are simply at the wrong place. At times, tempers run short and every single one of us has overreacted, myself included. That is exactly why we have an appeal process in place: all bans can be appealed to the First Mistress (me). If I am the one that has banned you, I recommend speaking to one of our High Mistresses,, who in turn can speak to me. I am not above conceding an error in judgment, and yes I have lifted bans and (gasp!), even apologized. We all make mistakes.
There have also been a couple of occassions where I have banned individuals I find personally offensive. To this I have heard people cry that I am being 'unfair' or that I am 'not following the rules'. To those people I refer you to rule number one of the sim: The First Mistress is the final authority in all matters. I reserve the right to limit access to the sims as I see fit. That privilege goes hand in hand with the bill for tiers I get each month.
For every ban, so many are embraced and find a new home. Every day our Ladies spend countless hours welcoming and assisting new visitors, making over the newbie (and not so newbie) boys, and helping with collars and other equipment. I am particularly proud of how welcoming our Ladies are to new Mistresses, greeting them and offering support and advice if needed. These things happen over and over again, and the patience I see in our Ladies (and our regular boys, who themselves are very kind and helpful), is inspiring.
As we continue to grow, and more personalities stream through the door, inevitably there will be conflicts and tensions. To me, the answer is communication. So often problems can be solved by sitting down and discussing them, and by trying to understand each other's viewpoint. To that end we are going to be having our first 'Subs Only' Discussion Group as well as our continuing Mistress Mentoring Group this Sunday. We will also be holding more open discussions about how we interact, where everyone will be welcome to speak freely. To those who want to maintain what we have here, I encourage you to speak up when you have a concern, and to help us all grow and be better together.
No comments:
Post a Comment