Dominion Investigator Jimmahoh has filed the following report:
Official Dominion Police Report
Investigating Officer: Jimmy Oh
The Case of the Rowdy Roos - Vandalism at Lavendel Way
At approximately 15:16 hours on Tuesday the 28th of July I received a message from one Lady Ravanys Lavendel stating that someone had broken into her house at 729 Lavendel Way. I responded to the call and arrived at the residence at 15:24. Upon my arrival I did a quick inspection of the perimeter and external grounds and found nothing out of the ordinary and there did not seem to be any forced entry. With Lady Ravanys's permission I entered the house and discovered what appeared to be two kangaroos. One was standing upright on a table and the other was laying on the floor with an Australian flag sticking out of its belly. There were two empty cans of "Victoria Bitter" within close proximity to the kangaroo on the floor in front of the fireplace. In addition to this, above the fireplace there was a big white sign with black lettering that read "ROO's RULE!" I photographed the scene and dusted for fingerprints. When I asked Lady Ravanys when the vandalism occured She told me She discovered it last night.
Upon further inspection of the house I found a third kangaroo floating in the bathtub upstairs. I asked Lady Ravanys if She knew anyone that would do such a crazy act of vandalism and She mentioned two Australians that She knew. A Miss Zarita Shan and a Lady Angel Keen.
After the scene was processed I went to The Dominion Femdom castle in hopes of finding and questioning the Australian Ladies. It was there that I spoke to a Miss Destiny Teardrop. She informed me that She was a witness to the event in question and informed me that it took place at about 5:40pm SL on Monday the 27th of July. In addition Miss Teardrop provided me with photographs that were taken at the Lavendel crime scene at about the same time. The forensics team has determined the photographs came from Miss Zarita Shans camera. I then asked Miss Teardrop if She knew where I could find Miss Shan and She gave me Miss Shans address.
When I arrived at Miss Shan's place at approximately 17:38, I found Her sitting on the couch petting Her puppy. When I asked Her wheah She was at the time of the Lavendel vandalism crime She stated that She was home taking a bath. I then asked Her if anyone could back that up and She said that Her puppy could but he can't speak. When I asked if there was anyone else that could provide an alibi She became defensive and acted offended that I would suggest such a thing saying "what do you take me for?? You think I share my baths??" I then asked Miss Shan if She was Australian. Her response was "that is a very private question" before She finally admitted to being Australian. When I asked Her what Her favorite beer was She made fun of my accent before stating "I don't like beahhh! but if I did it would be Victoria Bitter or Cascade."I then informed Miss Zarita that She was the main suspect in a case of vandalism and She stated numerous times that She was being framed "by some jealous witches" and named Lady Ravanys and Miss Destiny Teardrop. Miss Zarita then began to explain that "after her leisurely bath" She decided to dry off on Her private beach and was shocked to find numerous objects with the flag of The United States with an image of what Miss Zarita claimed to be and later was confirmed to be that of Lady Ravanys Lavendel. Miss Zarita went on to explain how She caught Lady Ravanys and Her accomplice Miss Destiny Teardrop "redhanded". I then asked why She didn't file a complaint rather than take the law into Her own hands and She told me that She was very nice and only tried to throw them off Her property but "they refused to leave and were muttering things like you bitch Zarita for being so much more beautiful than us". Miss Zarita then went on to state that She charges them with "Jeolous Griefing". I asked Miss Zarita if She had any evidence and She supplied me with images of said event. The photographs were taken after the crime at Lavendel Way so I am led to believe that it was an act of retaliation for the Lavendel crime. Miss Zarita also stated that She had witnesses that would testify on her behalf and named Lady Angel Keen and Her landlord, Nail Stonewall.
It was at about this time that we were all summoned back to The Dominion and we arrived at about 18:24.
The fingerprints from the Lavendel crime scene did come back to match Miss Zarita Shan.
Join us tomorrow at 3 pm SLT for a special Trials and Punishments at Dominion where this case will be resolved.