Judgery Violet: Sung to the tune of Officer Krupke from West Side Story
Dear kindly Lady Violet,
You gotta understand,
It's just my bringin' up-it
That gets me out of hand.
My mother was a junkie,
My father was a cad.
Goodness gracious, that's why i'm so bad!
Miss Judgery Violet, i'm very upset;
I never had the love that ev'ry child oughta get.
I ain't no delinquent,
Deep down inside me there is good!
There is good!
There is good, there is good,
There is untapped good!
Like inside, the worst of me is good!
(That's a touchin' good story.)
(Lemme tell it to the world!)
(Just tell it to the judge.)
Dear kindly Judge, your Honor,
My Mistress treats me rough.
She keeps me frust-er-ated,
Her lovers makes me fluff.
She sends me off to prison,
And also to gay clubs.
God i love her, that's why i'm her sub!
Judgery Violet, you're real fair;
this boy don't need the whip he needs an analyst's care!
It's just his neurosis that oughta be curbed.
He's psychologic'ly disturbed!
I'm disturbed, I'm disturbed,
I'm the most disturbed,
Like I'm psychologic'ly disturbed.
(Spoken, as Judge) In the opinion on this court, this child is depraved on account he ain't had a normal home.
(Spoken) Hey, I'm depraved on account I'm deprived.
(Spoken) So take him to a headshrinker.
Miss Maisy has an orchard,
She has me counting trees,
Miss Pamela humiliates,
Miss Eva loves to tease.
Miss Joie laughs that laugh i love,
While she's giving pain.
Leapin' lizards, that's why i'm insane!
Judgery Violet, i'm down on my knees.
This boy don’t need the whip, he needs
The chastity keys.
Society’s played him a terrible trick,
And sociologically h's sick!
I am sick!
i am sick,
i a am sick,
i am sick sick sick,
Like i'm sociologically sick!
(speaks as psychiatrist)
In my opinion, this child does not need
To have his head shrunk at all.
Juvenile delinquency is purely a
Hey, I got a social disease!
(spoken as psychiatrist)
So take him to a social worker!
My brother was a tranny,
Dressed up in woman's clothes.
Would masturbate with marmalade,
To add unto my woes.
Sometimes i'd wake with "sticky buns",
i liked it i confess!
Goodness gracious, that's why i'm a mess!
Miss Judgery Violet, i'm down on my knees.
Cause no one wants a fella with a social disease.
It's really a question of misunderstood;
Please Lady Violet i'll be good!
i'll be good!
i'll be good,
i'll be good,
i'll be saintly good,
i'll be extra ordinary good!
i'm in trouble when i'm quiet.
in troble when i speak.
in trouble when i'm sober,
in trouble when i drink.
in trouble when i speak in prose,
in trouble when i rhyme.
Goodness, i'm in trouble all the time!
Dear Judgery Violet,
Please acquit me today.
I hope this song i wrote for you
will brighten your day.
I beg for a pardon,
That's all i can do.......
Dear Judgery Joie--