Discussion Roulette With Lady Raffila

Lady Raffi hosting our Discussion Roulette this morning

Axelle and the boy subs

Our discussion group

A big thank you to Lady Raffila for leading a fascinating discussion on 'Selection' earlier today. Included in the discussion was a notecard of suggested questions a sub could ask a domme. The questions are included below and are modified from a notecard originally compiled by Nikiya Mann.

There are many things that you as a submissive/slave need to consider when looking for a Dominant. Many questions that you need to ask not only yourself, but also to your potential Mistress. Below is a general guideline with 12 questions that a submissive/slave might ask.

1. Are you looking for submissive or slave? This is a very important question. A slave and a submissive are quite different. A submissive has limits, has a safe word. A slave gives up all rights after the pre-commitment oral or writen contract has been made. Think carefully before committing to a Mistress/slave relationship.

2. Will you wish the Dominant to control part of what you do offline? Will you be willing to obey that?

3. Are you looking for online only or also possibility of real life? Do you know what you're looking for? If you or the mistress have a spouse or partner in real ilfe, think carefully about how you will cope if a Mistress has a real commitment or you are asking her to accept your real life commitment.

4. What are your punishment methods? This is one question that you definitely should ask. Some Dominants, might punish often, others might prefer verbal corections and punish infrequently but severely. What is this mistress' style?

5. What types of activities do you enjoy during a scene? This question would give you an idea of what the Dominant has already tried. Also, will give you a clue as to whether or not your are compatible. Make a list of what activities you enjoy or would like to try and keep handy.

6. What types of activities do you avoid during a scene? You need to consider what you would never wish to do. This would be a hard limit. An example would be cutting or blood play. Also urine and feces play. Although some enjoy this type of play, not all do. Make a list of your hard limits and keep in handy.

7. Are you into a poly situation or do you prefer one- on-one? Not all really consider this. However, be honest with yourself. Can you belong to a house that has more then one sub or slave? Can you get along and share or are you the jealous type that would allow that jealousy to rip apart a household?

8. Are you bi, straight or homosexual?

9. Are you an online Dominant only...or are you Dominant real life? Why is this important? For you it may not be, but some wish a Dominant who also a real life Dominant.

10. How long have you been Dominant? I'm sure you're wondering why this question is important. A new Dominant is not always the best match for a new sub. But an experienced sub can help a new Dominant learn just as an experienced Dominant teaches the new sub.

11. Ask questions to see if you are compatible. Examples: "What type of music do you enjoy?" or "What books, movies, do you enjoy?"

12. One of the easist ways to discover if you'd be compatible--"Describe a typical day for you in SL? How long are you here--what do you do while here?"